December 27, 2005

8 years ago today, I married my best friend. Before I ever THOUGHT about him in any other way he was my very very good friend. We spent hours on the phone and were wonderful friends.

When I was 16 (almost 17) and he was 16..I saw the "light" and we began dating. We held hands in the car on the way home from a church conference in Indiana..and it all began. This picture is taken 1 month later at my 17th b-day party.

A few months later, he broke my heart and we didn't speak for about a year!! Time heals all...and the year we graduated...we became friends again. Shortly after graduation we began dating again..on again and off again until 1995...when we stayed "on". this picture is the summer of 95 in TN.



In February of 1997 (after a 2 week break up and me cutting off my long hair to spite him ) we became engaged and moved in together. In November we traveled to Gatlinburg to get our marriage license so we could be married the next month. this picture is us at the marriage license place.




On December 27, 1997 at 2:30 pm we were married. It was a beautiful ceremony and the BEST decision I ever made...I would do it again and again.




Our first year of marriage was tough...Kyle had an accident and broke his collar bone which required surgery and months off work. We were BROKE, but in love. This picture is us at my moms wedding in August of that year...even though we were POOR we were happy. Whether "feast or famine" our love stays strong and we stay happy. I am so thankful for that!

Year in Review

Saw this over at Cindy's and enjoyed reading it so I decided to join the fun! :)

I started my blog in Feb...so it's not a WHOLE year....LOL

February: I have had an online journal before.

March: We used to live in Knoxville when I was in 6th grade.

April: My mom just recently got a new cat.

May: My friend R has joint custody of his daughter M.

June: Goodness...it's almost been a month since I posted.

July: We have been gone, for what seems like forever!

August: Once again I have let so much time pass between posts that I have to play "catch up".

September: I'm annoyed with the cable company since they refused to hire my husband to work for them.

October: I am SO thrilled and utterly excited!!

November: Today is my 31st B-day, I woke up with a yeast infection.

December: Bill collectors..... SUCK!

OK Cindy's was much better reading than mine!! ROFL

Counting my blessings....

I am sitting in a warm home, with food in my stomach, (and more in the kitchen). I have a car in my driveway that takes us where we need to go. I have a washer and dryer in my basement that lets me to stay home and do laundry instead of trudging to the landromat. I have clothes and a warm coat....gloves and a hat too! I have a big screen tv with cable and a DVR....I have 2 computers and internet access. I have a job. I have a husband that I love with all my heart...and he loves me back. And we have 2 beautiful, precious, healthy children. We ARE blessed.

Life is rough right now...but goodness...it could be a bazillion times worse. I AM thankful for all we have. sometimes the good that is in my life gets clouded out by the little bit of Yuck.....I don't want the "yuck" to take over. I want to remember all that I have and always be thankful.

We have 6 inches of snow outside....Logan is home from school. We are going to decorate the tree and make cookies. Life is good.

Bill collectors.....

SUCK! I know they are just doing their job...but why they have to act like creeps in the process is beyond me!

Needless to say, I just had a call about my visa card. It is extrememly past due, but it can't be helped and when we are months behind on the mtg and have to pay phone, electric, etc....the stupid visa bill sadly takes a back burner. I just spoke with someone last week and explained our situation. So, I get another call today...I explain our situation again and tell her that we are trying to sell our car so we can pay our bills. She asks me to make a payment today. I told her again...that there is NO money to make a payment. She told me that this was going to look bad on my credit report (duh)...yes, I know that but what does she expect me to do? She expects me to make a payment on my bill. I thanked her for calling and told her there was nothing I could do today. she then said, "you need to accept responsibility and pay your bills". I thanked her and told her to have a good day....I wanted to rip her throat out.

I WANT to pay my bills with all my heart and soul. do people really believe that we like not having money and living in fear that our house will be foreclosed on? We are doing the best we possibly can at the moment.

I am not really sure what we have done "wrong" or why we have such bad "luck". I mean really....not to sound like a sob story...but it is one thing after another continuosly. We went to TN for thanksgiving and ended up having transmission problems that had to be fixed before we could come home. My MIL paid ($360), but it is another thing that is added to the bill of things we owe her for. the other day I went to put the kids in the car and the one seat belt doesn't work anymore. Stuff like that is almost enough to send me over the edge. It HAS to get better at some point....doesn't it???

Frustrated with Life

I am so upset. the job I was hoping to get and really thought I would get...I didn't get. I talked to someone from the company FIVE times and today...I got the "thanks but no thanks" letter. I am just so depressed. We have NO money. NONE. our mtg is 2 months past due and christmas is right around the corner and here we sit. broke. once again.

K and I both have applied and applied to places and sent resume upon resume...and we get little bites..our hopes soar and then they don't pan out. I don't know that I ca handle another let down.

We have put Kyles Jeep on the market hoping it will sell and SOON so we can pay the house payments.

I am just so sad....SO sad. I would like to sit and cry, but in reality that isn't going to help anything. My heart hurts and I am tired of worrying. I have prayed and prayed and prayed until I don't know what else to do. I am starting to doubt the power of prayer and I hate that. I don't want to do that. I wish I could just understand....of course His ways are not our ways...and I have to remember that.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Today is my 31st B-day, I woke up with a yeast infection. Happy Birthday to me! LOL

Mom is making me dinner tonight. Salmon patties, fried potatoes, and iced tea was my request...I am sure she will have some kind of veggie too. She is also making my FAVORITE b-day cake..."Black Bottom Cake"--choc cake made with mayo, cream cheese, and choc chips. It is YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMY!!

We are 2 days away from leaving for vacation to VA and of course I have a zillion things to do. I hate that I am such a procrastinator.

I think I am going to run to Footlocker today. they have t-shirts, 5 for $20 can't beat that!!

Spent the day at the dr's office yesterday. Logan's thumb nail got ripped out..not bent back...but actually ripped out by the shopping cart wheel at Kroger. it is partially connected so we are being really careful with it so that the growth plate doesn't get damaged. It was really awful. he is ok, but it was an awful experience and I feel SO sorry for him..that HAS to hurt. Poor baby. I feel like such a bad mom. I shouldn;t have let him get under there. Live and learn I suppose.

catching up...

So, we went on our trip and had a wonderful time. I rubbed ritas belly all weekend and we went shopping and got her cute maternity clothes and big maternity panties. LOL It was very fun and I had a nice break from my hubby and the boys! :)

My hours haven't increased at all at work and one of my jobs has the possibility of being "no more". I am trying not to stress about it. not until we get home from our vacation anyway. LOL

Tony's birthday was last week. We had dinner at moms..tacos and burritos. He had a batman cake and got quite a few gifts. We always have such a hard time buying him gifts because he is a man, but thinks like a child. He says he wants toys but really has no desire to play with them. My kids were THRILLED with his gifts though. LOL He also got clothes and shoes and new PJ's. so he did quite well for a 35th b-day.

My birthday is this week. Thursday. I'll be 31. THIRTY-ONE. I don't WANT to be 31. seems like having kids has made life speed up. I want everything to slow WAY and down. Mom is making me a birthday dinner and bought me a gift (yay) and we are leaving on Sat for VA...so that will be my gift from K. That's what happens when you have no money...things you would do anyway become your "gift". LOL

Having some issues with Logan. Basically, he is a big baby. LOL If he doesn't get his way, he cries and throws a fit and acts like a little brat. I have worked at his school a couple times and he acts so awful, I am embarrased. I was hoping that he acted worse when I was there, but his teacher told me that he acts just the same. oh goody. The kids don't really like him...probably because he acts like such a baby. I don't know what to do about it. I worry about next year when he is in Kindergarten at a new school with new "friends". We are working on letting him know he doesn't need to cry and whine over everything and he doesn't need to completely freak out. It is very frustrating. Yesterday he stole a little plastic frog from school. so he was sent to his room for 15 minutes and on Monday he has to take it back to his teacher and apologize. he told me that he steals because he doesn't have anything. which is just laughable it is SO absurd. He has lots and lots and lots of things. I told him if he steals again he won;t be getting any birthday presents (in December) because little boys that steal don't deserve gifts. I am pretty sure I SUCK at this parenting thing!

Monday is Halloween. Logan will be Batman and Dylan will be Robin. they are SO cute in their little costumes. LOL Logan has a Halloween party at school on Monday. they dress up in their costumes and have a parade around the neighborhood. I might have to drive up there and see that. :)

We carved pumpkins last night. they turned out SO good! I was really impressed with my drawing abilities and Kyles carving. One is a normal jack-o-lantern with triange eyes and nose and missing teeth, one has eyes that are flames, and Logan "designed" one with round eyes and eyelashes, a pac-man nose, and jagged mouth. LOL Logan drew his on paper and then I drew it on the pumpkin. I'll post pics later.

No big plans this weekend. I want to go through the kids toys and books and weed out the stuff no longer played with, etc. I want to run up to KMart and look for some t-shirts for K to wear around the house. everything he has has holes in it.

Amelia is going to boarding school tomorrow. I might run over there and tell her good-bye. Play the part of the nice "big sister".

I guess that gets me all caught up for now.

Until next time...........

lots to do...don't wanna do it!!

We are heading to Tn tomorrow. Mom is going with us and K is going to drop off mom and I at my friend Ritas house and then he is going on down to my MIL's with the boys. Mom and I will stay with rita's mom and then we are going to go shopping and stuff on Saturday for BABY stuff!! I am so excited to see them and to pat her belly!! :) It will be a quick trip...we are coming back on Sunday afternoon.

SO...before tomorrow at noon I have to:
do laundry
pack
clean the living room and kitchen
give all 3 boys ;) haircuts
bathe my children and myself (K can handle his own shower LOL)
work from 7-9 tonight
clip the kids toenails and fingernails
repaint my toenails
take Logan to school tomorrow morning
take Jack to the boarder
go to the grocery

and I don't want to do ANY of it. K is busy all day over at the "family house" hanging drywall and fixing holes in walls etc so it can be sold. So...it's all on me. goody for me!

4 hours 45 mins

So....remember how I said that if I could get 40 hours a week with the IRS job, we would could survive? I got my schedule for next...guess how many hours they gave me? Yep...4 hours and 45 minutes. We SO can NOT live on THAT!! I am very very very stressed about money. This sucks.

put me out of my misery

I'm sick!! waaaah!! I have an awful head cold complete with running/stuffy nose, watering eyes, pounding face, gums, and jaws, fever, and just plain miserableness. BLECK! Kyle is out right now buying me Puffs Plus (I have already gone through 2 rolls of TP and my nose is RAW) and OJ and is getting Chinese from my fave chinese place 25 mins away. Yay him!! :)

I worked for about an hour this morning and then canceled the rest of my shifts. I just feel to miserable to deal with work today.

Please feel sorry for me!!!

He "had" a job....

K went for an interview last week. It was a marketing/promotional position for a tobacco company. No benefits but the money wasn't too bad. He was told that if he passed his background check he would be hired. He passed the check...the guy called him...asked him to come in and meet with him again and that he would have an offer letter for him. He also told him to be sure and bring his proof of car ins.

SO..K goes yesterday..(despite a 102) fever. he drives 30 mins to get there. Gets there and the guy tells him that they have decided they are going to put the "Dayton Market" on hold for awhile. UGH! K was annoyed to say the least. The guy said they had just decided that an hour before the scheduled meeting. how freaking frustrating.

SO, the plan for now is for me to work as much as I can for my IRS position. If I can get 40 hours a week doing that...we should be ok...for the most part.

Lee and his lady

I never updated on meeting "Lanie" Lee's girlfriend.

We only spent about 30 mins total with her. But she seemed to be very nice and sweet.

I didn't think that Lee really liked her since he said that she wasn't "good looking enough" for him. Insert HUGE eye roll here. Like HE is SO great or something! BLECK!! LOL and she isn't ugly by any stretch of the imagination. Lee is a freak.

anyway....they started making plans to move in together. Into my Inlaws basement (which is were Lee lives now). My MIL doesn't believe in living together before marriage. so, they were going to go to the JOP and get married. She just converted to Catholicism, so I was surprised she was willing to not have a church wedding. Plans have changed now though and she is moving to mississippi and lee is moving down there with her. I am guessing that since they won't be living with my MIL that the marriage is not going to happen now. But who knows?

of course...kyle knows nothing. I ask questions and he has NO idea because he WON'T ask questions. How weird is that?!? LOL

So..that's the Lee/Lanie update. I'll keep you all posted!! ;)

She's having a baby!!

I am SO thrilled and utterly excited!!

My very very very good friend, Rita is PG!! This is her 1st pregnancy and I am just so thrilled for her!! :)

I met her in 5th grade when we moved to Knoxville. We became the best of friends immediately and have remained that way for the last 20 (good LORD!) years!!

She has been married to alan, for about gosh...let's see...I was PG with Dylan and he is 3 now...so I guess she has been married for 3 years. LOL Alan is about 10 years older than her and has children from a previous marriage. I think maybe they were getting a little concerned about not getting PG right away.

My mom and I were in TN a few weeks ago, visiting with R and her mom. R wasn't around and we were talking about her having a baby. R's mom said that she has been praying that R would get PG. She then said that she decided she was just going to believe that God was going to let R get PG before the end of the year. She then asked me an my mom to pray the same way. "God, we know you can do it...and we believe that you are going to make it so that R is PG before the end of the year". Of course, mom and I agreed. According to my research (LOL) R conceived that very weekend!! AMAZING!! :) (I knew they were having sex when she was supposed to be visiting with us!! LOL LOL)

SO...Miss Rita is gonna have a baby and we are just thrilled. I can't wait to go shopping with her and rub her belly. She is going to be a GREAT Mommy and her baby is so blessed. :)

Welcome to Mommy-hood my dear friend. your life is about to change in ways you never imagined and you will love, like you have never loved before. Enjoy your pregnancy...cherish every second of it...even the miserable stuff. You have been chosen to carry and raise this wonderful, precious gift from God. You are SO blessed. I love you!!

Saturday

Nice title, huh?

I have been in a blah mood lately and not willing to put forth the HUGE (ha ha) effort it takes to blog. How sad is that?

Kyle had 2 interviews this past week. He has decided he doesn't want the one, even if they offer it to him. And will probably go with the 2nd one. It is a promotional/marketing type job.

I have started training to work for the IRS and I am hating that. LOL Training just sucks. I wish they would just leave me alone and let me figure it out myself. I don't do well when I have to listen to others questons and having them stop the trainer every 2 mins. UGH. i was SO antsy the other night I thought I was going to go insane before she finally dismissed us. 1 more week and then we will be on our own, woohoo!! One of the reasons it is so frustrating is that I did this SAME job last tax season...so I know most of it. Give me a refresher tell me whats changed and send me on my way! GEESH!

Kyles dad had surgery this past week. The place on his foot that was believed to be gangrenous is evidently not. He was moved back to UT hospital and they did a bypass on his leg with a "fake" vein to get blood flow down to the foot and hopefully speed healing. After surgery, he was having a lot of "A fib" episodes, his BP was very low, etc. So, they moved him to the ICU. he is doing better and is in a normal room now. He must be quite the fighter..he has surpised us several times now.

We are heading to VA in Novemeber with Renee. My MIL has a timeshare in williamsburg and can;t use it this year. So we are going and invited Renee and her family to join us. I am REALLY looking forward to it. I have never met Renee before and I have "known" her since before Logan was born...so this trip is definitely a long time coming! :)

My plans this weekend consist of working for LiveOps, cleaning my house, and sitting on my rear. LOL I *think* I am going to church tomorrow night.

Speaking of church....I went to a new one last week, it was a nice service. i was VERY tired though and was fighting sleep BIG time. SO...... LOL

Sunday again

Sundays must be my blog days. I seem to post a lot on Sunday! LOL

Logan started school this week. I am thinking about starting his own blog with his school pics and what he did each day etc. something for the grandmas and aunts to check out!! :)

Been working a lot since we are so busy with RC calls. Kyle got hired as a temp employee so between the 2 of us we are working a lot.

We have been watching season 3 of 24 we have one more hour to go and we will be done. I LOVE 24. I can't wait to see season 4. It'll be awhile though..there are some movies we want to see and we need to watch season 2 of Nip/Tuck...plus all the fall shows will be starting again very soon. we are going to be busy tv watchers! :lol I need to start working on my knitting and crocheting again so i at least feel productive while I am watching all that tv!!

I got my school stuff all squared away so now I have until February 2 to order my exam. I need to get myself on a schedule...so many hours a day for school and so many a day for work....and time for the kids...and time for all those tv shows. Oh..and time to clean the house I guess. Hmmm..I think I might need more than 24 hours in a day! LOL Really though..I have NOO idea how working moms do it.....and moms that work AND go to school?!? WOW! I just couldn't do it..but I am a pretty lazy person. LOL

Church was good last Sunday. I really enjoyed it. I'd like to go back when it is a "normal" service and not a special speaker there to see how it normally is. During the praise and worship they sang the same song for like 20 mins at least. It made me a little nuts!! lol I might go to a different church tonight. It's an Assemblies of God church I have been curious to attend. I just have to get my rear in gear and go.

Signed up for 2 secret shopper shops to do this week. We'll be eating out and "shopping" for an RV on Thursday. sounds fun to me!! LOL

Al is moving back in with mom. They have been working on some things and been "dating" and things are going well with Tony and him. I hope it works out. I guess what made her decide is that up until this point tony has been totally "anti-Al". He doesn't want him around, etc. So, mom said that she was praying about and told God that if he wanted her to work on her marriage and have Al back in, He was going to have to change tony's heart. The next day tony came home from work and said....out of the clear blue..."I guess Al can move back. When is he moving in?" LOL So...he hasn't moved in yet..they are taking it slow with him just being around more etc. Today tony is on a trip with the MRDD place and mom and Al are out and about to some loca festivals. which I think is really wonderful.

Mom and I were throwing around the idea of going to disney for our christmas present this year. last night. I'm not sure if it will happen or not but I would LOVE to go!! It all started because dylan announced that he needs to go to "Mickey Mouse world". LOL we'll see .

Ok. I am going to stop now because this is getting so long and all over the place. LOL

Sunday

Taking calls for the red cross. People are so generous and have such big hearts..everyone was affected by this tragedy. I have taken pledges for $5 up to $500 and every person says how they wish they could do more. If people aren't calling to donate they are wanting info on how to donate clothes or open their home to a refugee. People are so generous. I am so blessed to be a part of this.

Yesterday was Kyles famiy reunion. We had lots of yummy food and played games. My kids were good until almost time to go home when they insisted on leaving the yard, running down the block and not coming back when I called them. They were spanked and made to sit on the couch until we left. we just can NOT have them running off and not listening. ugh. but for the most part they were good.

Mom and I are going to a new church tonight. Tommy Tenney is there speaking. We "know" his dad, T.F. Tenney. so, we want to check out what the son is all about. Especially since he and his father share different religions. I have been wanting to visit this church anyway....

"On Time God"

Now, I have this song in my head from my previous post. Just thought I would share. :)

Listen

and here's the lyrics:

CHORUS
He’s an on time God, yes He is
He’s an on time God, yes He is
Job said He may not come when you want Him
But He’ll be there right on time
I tell you, He’s an on time God, yes He is

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 1
You can ask the children of Israel
Trapped at the Red Sea
How that mean ole Pharaoh and his army
They had water all around them
They had Pharaoh on their tracks
But then out of no where
God stepped in and cut a highway just like that

CHORUS
Let me tell you, He’s an on time God, yes He is
He’s an on time God, yes He is
I know He may not come when you want Him
But He’ll be there right on time
I tell you, He’s an on time God, yes He is

VERSE 2
Now you can ask Mary and Martha
Their brother Lazarus was sick in bed
They said Jesus please come heal him
But Jesus waited 'til he was dead
They said Lord I don’t understand it
Why you’ve waited 'til now to come
But Jesus said Lazarus come forth
And death let him go, He came walkin' out of the tomb

CHORUS
And don’t you know that, He’s an on time God, yes He is
He’s an on time God, yes He is
Well He may not come when you want Him
But He’ll be there right on time
He’s an on time God, yes He is

CHORUS
He’s an on time God, yes He is
He’s an on time God, yes He is
No He may not come when you want Him
But He’ll be there right on time
I tell you, He’s an on time God,
He’s an on time God,
He’s an on time God, Yes He is

one more "testimony"

when K lost his job in February I started working as much as I could and quit working on my Medical Transcription course. It was a 6 month program and I didn't finish it in the time alloted so I had to file for a 6 month extension. the extension was $350!! I have been so upset because my mom paid for the course and if I didn't get the extension it was like she wasted all that money. so, I have been stressing about what I could sell and what I could do to ge the money to pay for it. the other day Kyle received a check from his old employer. It will get all the bills caught up, the mortgage for October paid and pay for my extension. he is definitely an "on time God". My faith is growing as I am learning that His ways are not always our ways. Which of course, I knew that..but sometimes I just need a reminder of that I guess.

Being a Cheerful Giver

I get a monthly email from Lisa Whelchel www.lisawhelchel.com (She used to be Blair on The Facts of Life.) I came across her website a few months ago and signed up for the newsletter. I really enjoy it. She seems to be such a great christian and reading the newsletters give me chills and make me want to be a better person. :) So, last month (or maybe the month before) she said something about the Lord wanting us to be "cheerful givers" so, I have really been working on that. When this horrible thing with hurricane Katrina happened I wanted to do something but with Kyle not working and no unemployment coming in we are more than broke! So, I was trying to figure out a way to be a "cheerful giver" and had decided to donate blood. In hindsight, I should have just decided on an amount to give and had faith that the Lord would take care of us. But I have faith issues sometimes. LOL As it turns out He had a plan for me anyway. the company that I work for has been hired to take calls for the Red Cross for the next 2 weeks...including the telethon they are having friday night. At the end of the "drive" we will be able to donate a portion (or all) of our pay to the Katrina victims. I am just SO excited about it. Not just that I am able to help in a way but that He made a way for me to be able to help when I didn't think there was a way. that He knew the desire of my heart was to be a "cheerful giver" so he made it so I can do just that. His love for me amazes me.

I am still going to donate blood. :)

amputation

things seem to happen so slow with the hospital and my FIL's care. When did they say he had gane grene? at least 3 days ago I think. Seems like they would want to get that taken care of before it got any worse. But I guess they have to weigh all their options.

The orthopedic surgeon came in and looked at his leg and said he didn;t think it looked that bad and wanted to to have the neurosurgeon look at it. So, the neurosurgeon came in and said there is nothing he can do for it that the blockage is severe and the surgery that he would need to do to TRY to get blood flowing back to his foot his major and he didn't even know if it would work. So, I am guessing that means they will be amputating. My MIL was tired when she talked to K last night so he didn't press her for a lot of information. He'll call her back today and find out what the plan is. so sad that it has come to this. :( Kyles thinking is that in the long run it might be better for him anyway to have his leg amputated. They don't believe he will ever walk again anyway and if he doesn't have a leg it is less work for his heart to have to do to try to get blood down there. I guess that kinda makes sense. It's very sad and I feel very bad for my FIL. I am worried about the surgery too.

We will head back down there for the surgery whenever they schedule it.