Saturday, November 29, 2008

Peggy Ann 1944-2008

Peggy was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday Nov 18 for dehydration. She had had diarrhea for several days and was very sick.

On Friday morning (nov 21), they moved her to the ICU as they were unable to keep her BP and blood sugar stable. I spoke to a nurse who told me that she was moved because in ICU they could give her medications that they couldn't on a normal floor because she would be constantly monitored in ICU. I called back later that afternoon and was told that her BP was getting more stabilized but that she was a very sick woman. I asked if she was so sick that we should be there. The nurse said it was up to us..and that she would come if it was her..but if it was going to be a problem with work that we could probably wait. At that point Kyle and I thought we would wait until the next morning and then go down. This was at 3:30 or 4ish.

At 4:30 Kyle's aunt Sally called. She was there at the hospital. She said she had just talked to the dr. and he said Peggy was toxic and would not make it through the night. that all of her organs were shutting down. She had to repeat the info to me 3 times. I could NOT wrap my head around the fact that she was saying peggy was going to die. I immediately called Kyle and told him we had to go to TN right then. He said he would be home as soon as he could. I started packing.

At 5:00 Kyle got home and made a few phone his dad and his siblings as they still had no idea what the dr. had told his aunt. He then called Sally again...and ended up talking to one of his uncles. While he was on the phone, the nurse came and got the family because Peggy was fading fast. Kyle stood in the kids bedroom and sobbed.We hugged and cried together. Then he got his tools and started fixing something on the backdoor so it could be locked easier since my mom would be taking care of the animals. Certainly not something that HAD to be done. But I assume it was something he could control at that point so that's what he did. I continued to get our things together.

At 6:00 Kyles uncle called and told him Peggy was gone. He leaned over and rested his head on the kitchen counter and bawled. Big tears fell from his face and pooled on the kitchen floor. I stood behind him and rubbed his back. When he stood up, we hugged and cried and the kids did too. Logan ran to his bedroom and I took Dylan to the couch where I could hold him better. Kyle finished fixing the door. I found Logan in his room rocking and crying and praying. Then he ran around the house crying and punching his fist saying he was SO MAD.

It was so heartbreaking. Kyle and I managed to settle down enough to talk to the boys and get them settled down. We then loaded the car and left. At this point the kids were much better and back to their laughing and fighting selves.

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity and decisions. Peggy had pre-arranged her funeral as far as the casket and the funeral home..and paid for it. So that part was taken care of. but we had no idea where to bury her, etc. The services were Tuesday and I swear it felt like it had been 2 weeks since the day she died when it finally arrived.

It ended up being a very lovely service and I think she would have been very pleased. It opened with a favorite song of hers (Most of All by the McGruders), then Kyles cousin's husband, Jay did an opening prayer, read the obituary and read a scripture she wanted read (Psalms 118:5). He also said some very nice things about her. Then, the congregation sang "Amazing Grace". Then the eulogy was given. Then Rick, Angela's husband (kyles sister) read a poem he wrote about a "Godly Mother", then there was a slide show with pics of Peggy through her life, then Lee's (Kyle brother) wife read a poem titled "The Best". One more song Peggy loved--I can't remember the name of it, but it was sung by Wendy Bagwell. Then the services were over and we headed to the cemetery.

The graveside service was nice--short and sweet as they usually are and then it was over. We each took a few flowers from the casket arrangement and then headed back to the house.

The house was a flurry of activity with all the family coming there. Thank God the church had brought food--I couldn't believe how fast everything was eaten. As it turned out none of us "kids" got a chance to eat and had to make a Sonic run later that night.

Life goes on...

As I finish writing this, tomorrow will be 2 weeks since she died. Amazing. I was getting dressed last night and was thinking about the kids pictures with Santa and thought, "I should send one to Peggy" then I remembered. I wonder if thoughts like that ever stop?

Kyle is doing well, as are the kids. They are sad, but we can talk about her and laugh about good things and memories. I think they'll be ok.


What a sad month. 1st, my great aunt died, then Dylan's teachers Mom, then my mother in law and then my aunts boyfriend. The sad news just keeps on coming. Hopefully no one else dies for a long time. Not sure I can handle the sadness of it all.

Friday, November 14, 2008

About God...

In the last few days I have come to an incredible realization about God.

I was talking to Cindy the other day and I was depressed and feeling down and she was talking me through it and at one point I said that I feel like I have failed God. She said, " Oh Tricia! you know that's not possible. You may be a little off track, but He still loves you." (or something to that effect).

And the truth is. until THAT moment. I didn't know that was possible. I mean, I knew it was possible..and I believed that for OTHER people, but I didn't believe it for ME. If that makes sense.

I have always had this feeling in me that if I am not doing what I should---going to church, praying, reading my Bible--I don't really have the "right" to ask God to help and I certainly didn't EXPECT him to. I would pray but in the back of my head would be this thinking of how he wasn't really hearing me because of the way I was living.

And the other day when I had this realization it became SO CLEAR that even though I SHOULD go to church and even though I SHOULD pray daily and even though I SHOULD read my Bible, because I LOVE HIM and want to honor HIM and it pleases Him. The fact that I have strayed away from doing the things I SHOULD. Has NO bearing on how much He loves me and takes care of me and provides for me. None at all. I am His child and He loves me.

And I think back to all the times I have given God credit for things in my life but really in the back of my head thought that it wasn't REALLY God because how could it be when I was failing him so miserably?

It sounds so stupid, I know. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "of course God loves you no matter what, duh!" It's just been a long time coming for me. I think a lot of it has to do with the church I was raised in and the beliefs we had and it has taken a long long long time to get past some of that thinking--which is the reason we don't currently go to church--because I can't figure out which one is "right". Maybe I need a non-denominational church.

Anyway, I feel SO GOOD that I have realized this and I have prayed more in the last few days than I have in a LONG time..and I know that He is hearing me..because that's what He does.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Since I am a horrible failure of a mother and did not keep a babybook for baby #2 and stopped recording anything for baby #1, I need a place to put the things I do not want to forget. You're looking at it! lucky you!!

Recently we were in the car and Dylan started singing a song he learned at school. It went like this:

This little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine, don't let Santa blow it out, I'm gonna let it shine!!

He sang it repeatedly and never thought that he was singing the wrong word. LOL I thought it was SOOOOO cute! It really tickled me. He has sense figured out his mistake and won't sing it the wrong way anymore! hmmph!

A few days later he was wanting to measure something, he said:

"Mom, where did you put that garden stick??" hahahah

I LOVE that boy!!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Grocery Bags

I went to the grocery and had 2 bags rip and drop everything in them on the driveway! I was NOT pleased! I swear, it seems like Kroger's shopping bags have gotten thinner. I think they are making them thinner in an effort to force people to use those reusable shopping bags that are better for the environment. I am not against using those bags..I am just against paying for them. I have been to plenty of events where places are handing out promotional bags for free just for walking by their booth. I say Kroger should do the same thing. Somehow link it to your Kroger plus card and give everyone 5 free bags. Of course then I would have to remember to put them back in my car after I put away the groceries. Which I wouldn't then I would have to use the thin throw away bags anyway.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Birthday and stuff

Since my last post, I have turned 34, we have a new President Elect, we got a new (to us) tv and I added roman blinds to my living room windows!!

My birthday--the day before we went to dinner at my mom's we had roast and carrots, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls and my mom's super yummy Black Bottom Cake. She and my brother had cards for me but my gift had yet to arrive. She did tell me that it was a QVC gift card! woohoo! FREE shopping!!

The next night we went to dinner at Max and Erma's to celebrate my birthday ON the day. I ordered myself a gift from K and the boys. I got this purse.

It arrived the other day and I am in love. not bad for $20!! I had visited Sam Moon when I was in Dallas last Summer and forgot all about it. Julie mentioned it on her blog the other day and I knew I had to have a purse for my birthday!

Of course I got lots of wishes from my on-line friends and phone calls from my "in real life" friends. My dad still owes me dinner. :) All in all turning 34 was pretty nice. I'd like to halt time though...40 is coming up fast! ;)

Even though my day was was a little overshadowed by election talk and anxiety.

The Election--I was so disappointed that they called Ohio so early. At that point I KNEW we had lost. I had been saying for weeks..."you know Obama is going to win right?" to anyone that would listen..but in my heart of hearts I hoped it wouldn't be so. I should have known though. So, my heart is heavy and my concern and worry are great and I dont have this "hope" that so many proclaim to have now. I DO HOPE that Obama does a great job and all of my concern and anxiety are for naught.

New TV--My niece is moving back home with my sister..she has been living with her dad. In order for her to do that, they have to build her a do that, they had to make the living room smaller. Therefore, they upgraded to a flat panel tv and sold us their wide screen, Big Screen, HD tv. We drove out there on Saturday and went to dinner and then loaded the tv up and set it up here. We love it! We had a big screen before, but it was not wisescreen or HD--so we are really enjoying it!

The old tv got moved downstairs for the "rec room" I am setting up for the boys--that'll be a nice long post for another time!

New Blinds--When K and I first moved in here we had the blinds on the windows that his mom left. They were light blue and ugly and dirty. But we had no money and a baby on the we dealt with them. Eventually, I bought new rods and denim tab top curtains and took the blinds down. When I put the new window coverings up..I expected it to feel DONE. you know, that feeling when something is right and it's like "ahhhhhhhhhh". Well I never got that feeling, but I lived with it..and just figured it was me being stupid. Baby #2 was on the way by now and now I REALLY couldn't afford to get anything else. Fast Forward 6 years..

A local store is going out of business so I went over to check out the sale. I ended up finding bamboo roman shades in the perfect size for the living room windows!! Now...I SOOOO cannot afford them anymore now than I could then..but at this point sometimes I just say "whatever" and do what I want. :-) So, I did!! Kyle put them up yesterday and I made him raise the curtain rods too. So..the denim tab tops are still there, but NOW I have these pretty bamboo shades on the window as well. The curtains flank the window on each side and the shade covers the window. As soon as K got done I was like "oooohhhhhh" hand on my heart and all. I told K, "it just feels complete doesn't it???" He was like, "yeah whatever!" BOYS!!!

Monday, November 03, 2008

No Accent

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The West
The South
The Inland North
The Northeast
North Central
WhatAmerican accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz