My heart outside of my chest....

There is a saying about becoming a mother is having your heart walk around outside of your chest. (or something like that) and it is SO true.

Last night I took Logan to t-ball.

when we get to t-ball we are always a couple minutes late and the first time we were, I said.."just go tell the coach that you are late and ask where he wants you" and Logan kept saying "just say, I'm late coach?" just real nervous and unsure of himself and what to do. So, everytime since then he always asks me a few times what to say. and then off he runs with his little skinny legs and his arms crossed..with his ball mitt hanging off his left hand...looking all unsure and a tad shy. and it absolutely breaks my heart.

and then we got seperated for like 10 seconds at Blockbuster. I wasn't where he left me..so he thought I left him. :( I rounded the corner and saw him standing on his little baby tippy toes looking for me and I said "here I am" and he turned around and had BIG tears in his eyes and said, "I didn't know where you were!" I hugged him and told him it was ok..that I was right there and that I would NEVER EVER leave him without telling him first. When we got to the car, he again told me how scared he was. Just makes me wanna sit and bawl.

I don't want him to ever hurt or be scared, lonely, shy, unsure, embarassed. I guess because I hate those feelings and I don't want that for him. Of course, that is unreasonable..those feelings are life...we all experience them.

Being a mommy is so hard sometimes.....I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING though..not ONE thing.