Sunday, October 22, 2006

Dylan Issues

I posted this on Friday on the message board I belong to and wanted to put it here also...just to make sure I know where it is so I can look back on it when this phase passes. (PLEASE God let it pass soon)

Dylan is going to end up being kicked out of pre-school. No joke. The teacher just called me to come and pick him up. I am so frustrated and feel like such a bad mom and I have all this damn guilt because I am working...and somehow that makes HIS issues MY fault you know???

He is SUCH a good boy, and he's funny and he's cute as hell and I love him SOOO much, but he is his own person and wants to do his own thing and has a really hard time listening and following directions SOME days. Other days he is wonderful, plays nicely, follows all directions and is SO good. those are the days we get GLOWING reports from school. But days like today, we get calls and "bad reports" that he won't listen, he wants to sit on the floor and cry over everything, he won't participate in music, he won't help clean up and just wants to slide around on the floor. UGH.

I have started this reward system for good behavior, playing nicely, good listening, cleaning up, etc. For every one of those things they do they get a star, at the end of the week they get 1 marble per star and put the marbles in a container and if they got enough marbles they get to put their hand in a grab bag of toys and pull something the end of the month they can cash in the marbles for money and buy something or do something special. It is working great on Logan, we can usually remind him that he won't get his star that night if he doesn't do such and such and he does it and it's over. Dylan on the other hand doesn't care whether he loses a star or not, probably because he hasn't missed out on the grab bag yet since this is only the 2nd week. I just don't know what to do. I added an "extra" star for good reports from school. Before school everyday we tell him how to behave, and to listen, etc etc and he says ok and yes, he understands, blah blah blah. But it's like he just doesn't care.

I don't know what to try now, I don't know how to handle this. And I don't know if it's normal...and he's just socially immature or what. (and is the social immaturity my fault because I have babied him??) I know at this rate, there is NO way he will be ready for Kindy next year.

Kyle went to pick him up. Kyle is worried that bringing him home is going to set a precedent that he gets to come home whenever he acts this way. But I told him that if D gets sent hom from school he needs to sit in his bedroom with no toys and no tv so that he knows if he comes home...home is boring and he gets to do nothing. (until school would be over). Kyle is thinking maybe he just needs to be at the school with him and correct the stuff he is doing...but then what if Dylan thinks he only needs to listen to K and not the teachers. Is K going to have to go to preschool for the rest of the year and sit in those little tiny chairs??

I'm sorry this is so long I am just so frustrated and worried and confused and guilt-ridden and just needed to talk about it. Give me some words of wisdom, please?


Dylan came home bawling his little head off saying he was never going back to school. Kyle took him straight to his room and put him in bed explaining that if he couldn't behave at school he was going to sit on his bed and do nothing. So he creid a while longer, and then laid quietly in bed and eventually fell asleep and took a 1 1/2 hour nap. He and Kyle had a talk when he got up and then he an I had a talk. I am HOPING the "trauma" of leaving school when he REALLY didn't want to (they were making a bat) will help next week be better. I'm really really hoping that this did the "trick".